Death
It is more meaning-full than I thought
As kids, we fear the death of a loved one. Some, like me, even wish to die before their siblings, parents, and even grandparents, so they don’t have to witness their death.
I remember when my grandmother died a painful death in a hospital emergency. She had been sick for over 3–4 months. All this time, we hoped she would make it, but in her last week, I couldn’t shake the feeling that her time had come. No matter how hard I tried, my instinct said otherwise.
I feared death. It made me feel so powerless in its presence that day. It was an excruciating pain when I wanted her to live, and I somehow knew she wouldn’t. In those last moments, I begged for her life in my prayers. I asked the heavens for a miracle.
Her death was the first time I experienced death. And life seemed suddenly important; Not to be spent carelessly but to be valued preciously. I thought if she had a few more years, it wouldn’t have hurt anyone. But then, what could she had done in a few years that would shadow her sixty-five-year life? She would have lived them the same because we forget death, always.
I felt that day that the idea of death is more important than the idea of life. Death reveals the reality of life, where life is an illusion where we keep ourselves distracted by money, gossip, food, and fame. If I know, I’ll die tomorrow; I’ll live today at my best. But even if I had one more guaranteed day, I would watch the friends series, as I do.
The two very things that I feared gave death its meaning; First of the uncertainty of its timing. It takes away our will. You don’t die when you commit suicide always; death decides for you to live. It gives respect to time like no other and thus makes your passing time worthy. So, you live every moment well, and when it comes, you don’t regret your time.
Second, its absoluteness, and that it does not spare a single soul. You are helpless in its face. The universe bought you here, and it takes you. If we had the power over death, we would choose to delay it. But is immortality the right answer? Death certainly easies us to care for others, to praise when we can, to forgive and forget. Living forever would make that difficult. It would boost our ego and self-praise to godly power. In an unjust world, it can’t be our happily ever after.
Anyway, who would want an inhumane and imperfect forever? People can’t get a hold of themselves enriched with money, fame, and status, the power over death would make any sane person invincible. And what would we do when we have experienced it all? So,
I made my peace with death, and I prefer death over limitless power until you can promise me a perfect and endless world.
